100 for 100: Day 17

I DID IT! I GOT MY CALORIES UPPPPPPPPPPPPPP! HOOORAY!

Okay, I got that out of my system.

Anyways, today was a weird day. I had a really difficult time sleeping last night. I ended up getting out of bed and reading my 80-10-10 book, which is just a phenomenal read. It's very scientific, and I appreciate that approach. Don't get me wrong, I really like reading a fun, light-hearted book, but I love the detail Dr. Doug Graham provides. People tend to get really down on others sometimes: don't count your calories, just 'feel' what you want to eat, yada yada.

Look.

I am morbidly obese. "Feeling" my way through food has not worked for me so far. I felt my way into size 24 jeans. I felt my way into stretch marks that have marred my skin. I felt my way into not being able to fit on amusement park rides. I need the discipline. I need to UNDERSTAND what I am putting into my body, and how it affects me. I am changing my life. I am learning. Like I said yesterday, all knowledge is worth having. I refuse to just throw myself to the whims of my emotions for 'knowing' when and what I should eat, because I promise you - I will be at Taco Bell. I am taking charge.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled blog!

This morning, I weighed 254, which is steady from yesterday. I'm down with that!

For breakfast, I ate (literally) a pound and a half of cherries. THEY WERE SO NUMMY. I can't believe I am just experiencing natural cherries now for the first time in my life.

Cherries - 700 grams, 441 calories, 1.4 grams fat, 7.4 grams protein

I worked this morning, and it was again thankfully void of angry text-based customers. Then, I made myself a SUPER smoothie. I think I went overboard.

Fluffy Spinach Smoothie, Take Two:

Spinach - 340 grams, 78.2 calories, 1.3 grams fat, 9.7 grams protein
Chard - 296 grams, 56.2 calories, .6 grams fat, 5.3 grams protein
Bananas - 486 grams, 432.5 calories, 1.6 grams fat, 5.3 grams protein
Bananas - again! - 230 grams, 204.7 calories, .8 grams fat, 2.5 grams protein

I really put way too much stuff into this, and it took me all afternoon and evening to finish. I also had to put two more bananas in to make it a bit sweeter.

Jeremy and I had counseling today, which is totally going great. We're really laying out a solid foundation for our future, and that gives me a lot of comfort. We were so young when we got married, and I'm glad we have this chance to refocus.

I made dinner for my family tonight. My favorite.

IT WAS SO HARD TO WATCH THEM EAT BLACK BEAN TACOS WITH CHEESE AND SOUR CREAM.

Did you get that? Because, my God, I surely did. Of course, I had sauteed mushrooms with spices and chickpeas and lettuce and tomatoes, but god those black beans with the sour cream and cheese were just calling to me. They like it, and I like for them to be happy eating but I think I'm just going to crumple with each bite they take. I guess if I can make it through taco night, I can make it through anything.

After dinner, I snacked on cherries. Again. I love them. They are great to eat while you watch So You Think You Can Dance-Dance-Dance. OH, and the show was awesome! I was so thrilled to see some of the dancers and have them actually get me excited about this season. I've been clinging to the awesome that is Season 3 for so long that, well, I DIDN'T WANT TO LET THEM GO. My favorite performance of the night was Joshua and Katee, dancing to No Air. I also really, really like Will. I have a crush on him. Comfort is adorable, and her personality is infectious. Ravyn is a beautiful person, and I'm really drawn to her. And, of course, Twitch rules. Go Twitchington!

Cherries - 188 grams, 118.4 calories, .4 grams fat, 2 grams protein

Totals - 1331 (!) calories, 6 grams fat, 32 grams protein
80/10/10 - 87/4/9 (Whee!)

I made my total goal today, I made my total goal! WHEE! I also got enough iron for the day, which made me thrilled. Altogether, I am really pleased with today.

Big hopes for tomorrow!

<3,
Sarah